Fun with headlines … yeah again

Fun with headlines … been a while since the last one.

Reuters: Genetic mutation doubles breast cancer risk: study
Although they don’t say what the risk is of becoming a genetic mutant. Plus it’s a good thing the teenage mutant ninja turtles don’t have tits as they are much more at risk that the rest of us, maca óg would be devastated.

Techdirt: Is Reselling Your Shampoo Bottle Online Illegal?
Why the fuck would you want to resell your shampoo bottle, online or otherwise? Cheap bastard, just give it to your sister!

RTÉ: Ahern and McDowell to meet again
“Well, it’s been like at least a few days since I last saw him. I don’t know if I’ll recognise him. Does he actually look like Hitler or is that just his knick?”

RTÉ: Obstacles in way of Aer Lingus takeover: Cowen
“We’ve a big fuckin filing cabinet and two desks blocking the door, ders no way dat hoor O’Leary will get in” says Minister for Spending, Brian Cowen.

Breaking News: Ben Dunne facing tribunal quiz about Cargobridge loan
How does that work exactly?
Dum dum dummmmm. “Mr. Dunne you have chosen the category Cargobridge Loans and your time starts … now …”

Breaking News: Jolie and Pitt thank India
“That’s it? At least Alanis Morissette wrote a song about us.” responds India.

RTÉ: Hostile attitude from US, claims North Korea
“Grorge Brush is rust a brig meaney proo” claims North Koran leader Kim Jong Il … *breaks into song*

I’m so Ronery, So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone
There no one, Just me onry

Sitting on my rittle throne, I work reary hard and make up great prans
but nobody ristens no one understands, Seems rike no one takes me serirousry
And so, I’m ronery
A rittle ronery, Poor rittle me

There’s nobody I can rerate to, Feewl rike a bird in a cage
It’s kinda sirry, but, not rearry
because, it’s fiwring my body with rage

I’m the smartest, most cwever, most physicry fit
but, nobody else seems to rerarise it
When I change the world maybe they’ll notice me
And until then, I just be ronery
Yeah, rittle ronery
Poor rittle me…
I’m so ronery.

(I couldn’t hrelp it – Ed)

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