You know things are bad when i have to resort to taking the piss of news headlines just to fill up a bit of space here
1. EU will send monitors to Georgia
Monitors are being packed as we speak (EU declared officially stupider than George Bush):
2. Bolivia’s president lands in Iran
… setting a new world record for longest flight by a human shot out of a canon.
3. Nasa ‘reviews shuttle shelf-life’
Following review the “shelf life” found to be a blue moldy hang sangwich. Nasa sacks Polish shuttle cleaners.
4. California tackles ‘cactus crime’
That’s what happens when you don’t keep a close eye on cacti. They get into drugs, prostitution and organised crime. Pricks!
5. Climbing stairs can prolong life
Descending stairs, especially head first can have the opposite effect.
6. Belfast ‘lion’ search scaled down
… scaled down by about 20% which is the approximate size of a big dog. Pfft. Lion me arse!
7. Drugs worth €10000 seized in Ballina
To be fair, what else is there to do in Ballina but get absolutely off your tits on drugs?