Chuck Norris, the only WMD in Iraq

Seriously, I couldn’t let a headline like that pass without posting it! Of course there was no WMD in Iraq, Chuck Norris was in Texas.

Some other favourite Chuck facts shamelessly ripped from other sites:

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  • Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  • There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
  • Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
  • Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
  • Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
  • Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
  • Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
  • They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem– It wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
Leave a comment

7 Comments.

  1. Where is the RSS feed for this “nonsense”

  2. Damien,
    In the right column under “Feeds” … or in your address bar if you use Firefox.
    Why you’d want it is beyond me though!! ;-)

  3. I seem to remember Huckabee was jokingly touting Chuck as his solution for Iraq and also Huckabee talks about his solution to enforcement of U.S. border laws.

    “Two words,” he says. “Chuck Norris.”

  4. Several lists of what Chuck Norris can do are around the web in every language and all are amazing.
    The one of yours I liked the most is this one:
    “Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.”
    ;-)

  5. Antonio
    I got all of these off other sites; they’re excellent. I like:
    “Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.”

  6. Go to Google.

    Type “find chuck norris”

    Click on “I’m feeling lucky”

  7. Deadly!! Thx Bock!!

    I wonder how they set that up??