Raiméis

Ok, this is an old one, but since Tyrone lost at the weekend (Armagh took the Ulster title) I thought this might cheer them up …

or then again maybe not …

Tyrone manager Micky Harte sends scouts out round the World looking for a new forward to replace Peter Canavan and hopefully win the Sam Maguire in 2005. One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi Gaelic player who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. So Micky flies to Iraq to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to play for Tyrone.
Two weeks later Tyrone are 5 points down at home to Derry in a National League game with only 20 minutes left. Harte gives the young Iraqi player the nod to go on and he takes off Canavan. The lad is a sensation, scores 6 points in 20 minutes and wins the game for Tyrone. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star!
When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mam to tell her about his first day in Gaelic Football.

“Hi Ma, guess what?” he says. “I played for 20 minutes today! We were 5 points down but I scored 6 points and we won! Everybody loves me, the fans, the players and the media, they all love me”.

“Great,” says his Mam, “let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time”.

The young lad is very upset. “What can I say Mum, I’m so sorry”.

“Sorry me arse!” says his Mam, “It’s your bloody fault that we moved to Tyrone in the first place!”

At a conference over the weekend Young Fine Gael ripped into the Government for presiding over a rip-off culture[registration cheat] over recent years. And aren’t they right? I hope the message is sent come next election, though don’t we usually continue to vote the greatest gobshites into Government time and time again?
I don’t claim to know much (anything) about economics but I find it hard to believe those who say that Irelands economy will continue to grow in coming years. I don’t see how with rising costs of housing, groceries, fuel etc etc. And with high costs people are demanding higher wages.
More and more industries are moving to places like China and this will continue for the next 10-20 years at least … honestly, why would a manufacturing company (or any company for that matter) set up in Ireland where the minimum wage is €7.65 per hour, in China you can hire someone for €0.50/hr. Eastern Europe is also becoming popular as both location and cost are good [minimum wage comparison]. How do we plan to create jobs in coming years when most of our manufacturing companies close up shop and we can’t attract any new business?

Aren’t the Chinese funny? I don’t know if you are aware of the Chinese practice of taking on odd ‘western’ names when dealing with foreigners. You see, names like Xiao-Xou are awkward to pronounce for us, and perhaps because of this (or perhaps because they just want to be cool) Chinese people choose alternative names for dealing with us whities. In fact some people don’t get to choose, as we have actually seen happen a superior assigns someone to work on a project, needs a name and simply says “you look like Eric, we’ll call you Eric from now on”. So often you meet Chinese people like Bob Liu-Chien, Jack Zhou or Theodore Xu-Gao, but often you encounter some pretty odd name choices. Try these on for size, over the past year I have met people called Hunter, Lightning, Nightfish, Candy and Lucky. So half the time it feels like i’m working with Gladiators, super heroes, prostitutes and collies! Very odd practice, not at all nice, and regular Chinese names are so nice anyway!

I’m not a big gamer but there are a few games on different platforms I like. Call of Duty on PC is one, what better way to de-stress after work that kill a pile of Nazis as you storm Berlin. Another favourite of mine is the outstanding and MASSIVE Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas on PS2.
GTA:SA has been in the news recently because there were rumours of explicit sex scenes in the game which could be unlocked by someone with the knowledge. Apparently it’s true! A gamer has created a game mod for PC called Hot Coffee which can indeed unlock these scenes (you can even download the video!). Rock Star games initially said that they scenes were the result of the Hot Coffee mod but it turns out that the scenes are built into the game, and on PS & XBox as well as PC. I reckon it’s gas but of course in America it has been taken more seriously. The scenes affect the game rating, it has moved from “Mature” to “Adult Only” and has even been taken off the shelves in stores such as Wal-mart or Best Buy! It’s a bit silly if you ask me, the game characters already go around blowing each other to bits and calling each other “nigger” and “muthafucker” … what difference does a bit of sex make!?!

It’s still in the news, the not very exciting Dingle-An Daingean debate. It’s the first story which caught my eye this morning via Back Seat Drivers via Irish Blogs.
The latest info is that Kerry County Council have decided yesterday that a poll should be held to see if the west Kerry town’s original placename should be restored. The Minister has basically said that locals can call it what they want, he even offered a few suggestions, Baile Fungi being one of the better ones. The only open issue now is who will get to vote, the townsfolk or all the people of Corca Dhuibhne.

Question, why did the Placenames Commission go for An Daingean rather than Daingean Uí Chúis which is the correct name?
Another question: should the decision affect the “gaeltacht” status of the region? If the locals decide to stick with Dingle should this have “
serious implications for funding under future reviews of Gaeltacht boundaries,” as the ‘not entirely bad looking’ Mayor of Kerry Toireasa Ni Fhearaoisa claims it might.

Back online again after my trip home. I absolutely gorged myself on all those foods which i’ve missed in the past year (taytos, sausages and all the rest) and importantly I now have a good stock of tea bags to keep me going for another while, although I may be calling on Gerry O’Sullivan to organise another appeal in about 10 months or so.
I also brought back a nasty sunburn, on my feet of all places. Me baldy head got a right doin’ too and now it’s peeling, the lads here think i’ve picked up some class of a disease as i’m going around scratching myself all the time.
It was a good holiday though, probably the first holiday in a number of years where I managed to completely remove all thoughts of work from my mind. And that’s only the start of it, I managed to wipe some of Finland from my mind too. In the airport last night I was complaining about lost luggage, the girl at the service desk asked me for my address in Finland and I couldn’t remember it! I had to think for a minute or two before it came back to me! It seems I needed a holiday from the country as much as I needed it from work.
It’s nice to be back to normality but isn’t it gas just how fast the entire holiday experience disappears from your mind? It started already yesterday on our flight from København, there were a rake of chattering Finns on the flight and that was enough to kick off the process of switching my brain back to Finnish life. And now in work it’s as if I never left, indeed only for the scratching & scalding feet I wouldn’t know i’ve been anywhere.
As for work, nothing has changed here, same shit every day, I think I need a holiday.

… when you can no longer take what you’ve been taking – Earl Wilson
You’ll notice the absence of posts in the last few days, I was up to my eyes this week, the reason … preparing for vacation! Tomorrow morning i’ll be catching a SAS flight for Dublin. Ahead is two and a bit weeks of Lyons tea, taytos, cadburys chocolate, proper Guinness, Pat the Baker bread, coleslaw, boxty, club orange, driving on the correct side of the road, talking normal, decent pubs, some more Guinness and whatever else I can squeeze into the next 16 days! It’s very unlikely that i’ll be online during this time, I really need to peel myself off the PC for a while, so until next time, I bid you adieu!

Can’t believe the price of petrol these days. I just got petrol a few hours ago … fifty fuckin two fuckin Euros. It wasn’t so long ago I could fill the tank with £20. I only own the car about 7 years, the price has doubled during that time. Bastards!

I’d heard via Slugger that the Sunday Indo launched a ‘stinging editorial on the EU’s recognition of the Irish language’ so I went asearching. I don’t know if this is the one Mick was referring to but Brendan O’Connor has cúpla focal [registration cheat] to say. It’s quite possible the article is tongue in cheek (though i doubt it), if so i’d advise Brendán to remember to add a smiley to the end of any such articles in future. The words “langer”, “tosser” & “wankstain” spring to mind here. Excuse my French.

You have possibly noticed that on every forum or mailing list where you are likely to get some Irish somebody has raised the question of how to add fadas. And in response people have posted all kinds of solutions like using a character map, or downloading keyboard layouts or using Alt Gr, or even using the USCII character codes. Thing is, isn’t it about time somebody made the case for getting proper keyboards in Ireland? I mean, how do they manage in France or any other country which has accents on their letters? They manage because they have proper keyboards. I have what I presume is a scandanavian keyboard, I have specific keys for letters like ö, å or ä. I also have a specific key for accents so doing fadas is éásy ás píé. So listen up Dell, Apple, Compaq and all the rest, start supplying proper fucking keyboards to Ireland. We need a fada key! I mean it!