Comments on: Monday rant – the value of moms http://www.ssi-developer.net/rant/?p=745 Níl ann ach raiméis : It's nothing but nonsense Sat, 10 Jan 2009 09:45:18 -0500 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: maca http://www.ssi-developer.net/rant/?p=745#comment-5468 maca Tue, 09 May 2006 06:00:44 +0000 http://www.ssi-developer.net/rant/?p=745#comment-5468 Nicole The "stay-at-home spouse vs. working spouse" thing is crazy. Some of those stay-at-home die-hards sound a bit nuts if you ask me :) Laura I guess you haven't been doing your job properly then :) Nicole
The “stay-at-home spouse vs. working spouse” thing is crazy. Some of those stay-at-home die-hards sound a bit nuts if you ask me :)

Laura
I guess you haven’t been doing your job properly then :)

]]> By: lauranen http://www.ssi-developer.net/rant/?p=745#comment-5125 lauranen Mon, 08 May 2006 22:20:25 +0000 http://www.ssi-developer.net/rant/?p=745#comment-5125 Who made up that list of professions anyway? Some <i>stay-at-home mum</i> that didn't have anything better to do? I didn't know I was supposed to do all that, I thought I was home just to look after the baby. And assuming that women do all the work in the house is sexist to both directions. As if all women would agree to do all the work in the house, and as if all men would leave their partners to deal with it on their own. Who made up that list of professions anyway? Some stay-at-home mum that didn’t have anything better to do? I didn’t know I was supposed to do all that, I thought I was home just to look after the baby.

And assuming that women do all the work in the house is sexist to both directions. As if all women would agree to do all the work in the house, and as if all men would leave their partners to deal with it on their own.

]]> By: Nicole http://www.ssi-developer.net/rant/?p=745#comment-5098 Nicole Mon, 08 May 2006 19:48:26 +0000 http://www.ssi-developer.net/rant/?p=745#comment-5098 I find all of it so demoralizing -- I hate the Mommy Wars BS the media keeps trying to play up, and the whole stay-at-home spouse vs. working spouse is part of that vein. And I do see where you're coming from -- in all of this there's no mention of the increase in fathers helping around the house/childrearing in the past two decades, and nothing still about the fact that many families don't have the luxury of having one parent at home all day. I find all of it so demoralizing — I hate the Mommy Wars BS the media keeps trying to play up, and the whole stay-at-home spouse vs. working spouse is part of that vein.

And I do see where you’re coming from — in all of this there’s no mention of the increase in fathers helping around the house/childrearing in the past two decades, and nothing still about the fact that many families don’t have the luxury of having one parent at home all day.

]]> By: maca http://www.ssi-developer.net/rant/?p=745#comment-5095 maca Mon, 08 May 2006 14:36:48 +0000 http://www.ssi-developer.net/rant/?p=745#comment-5095 I can certainly understand that some mothers would feel under appreciated. After all being a stay at home mom CAN be a very difficult job ... but what I hate is the generalisation and the insinuation that dads don't help at all, which some of us do. And you're right, a lot of dads stay home too, it's often forgotten. LOL at your last comment :) I can certainly understand that some mothers would feel under appreciated. After all being a stay at home mom CAN be a very difficult job … but what I hate is the generalisation and the insinuation that dads don’t help at all, which some of us do.

And you’re right, a lot of dads stay home too, it’s often forgotten.

LOL at your last comment :)

]]> By: Nicole http://www.ssi-developer.net/rant/?p=745#comment-5094 Nicole Mon, 08 May 2006 13:59:52 +0000 http://www.ssi-developer.net/rant/?p=745#comment-5094 I was reading Annie's Mailbox the other week (I know, but it's interesting sometimes) and there had been a letter that had created quite a bit of backlash. A woman wrote describing how her husband worked long hours and that she wasn't able to have the house the way he wanted (i.e., perfectly clean and dinner on the table when he got home) while taking care of a few young children. Some of the people wrote back with ridiculous comments -- a stay-at-home dad who said that taking care of kids "isn't work", a woman whose husband worked similarly long hours but seemed to be the reincarnation of June Cleaver who told the chick to suck it up and do four loads of laundry and vacuum the whole house every day just like she did. So I think that part of this (and I think I saw this last year, so I'm not sure why it's news -- it seems like the kind of information my mother-in-law would forward me) is because there are people out there who don't realize how much work is involved in taking care of young children. (And how little can get done when those children are awake.) Remember, this is coming from the United States, where most women barely get three months' maternity leave (if they're lucky -- your employer doesn't have to pay you during that time). What I've found most interesting in all of this discussion is that it's assumed that mothers are the only parents who stay at home and that fathers are the only parents who would work while a spouse was at home. I was brought up in a household where my father was home for the most part (he's a priest) and my mother worked outside the home (she's a lawyer). And now we're in the same situation -- I work outside the home and Cionaodh stays home with our son. So, in our case, I'd have to add the salary of a construction worker/drywaller/plumber/painter/cabinet maker to him (and construction project manager to myself). And we'd never be able to afford each other. I was reading Annie’s Mailbox the other week (I know, but it’s interesting sometimes) and there had been a letter that had created quite a bit of backlash. A woman wrote describing how her husband worked long hours and that she wasn’t able to have the house the way he wanted (i.e., perfectly clean and dinner on the table when he got home) while taking care of a few young children. Some of the people wrote back with ridiculous comments — a stay-at-home dad who said that taking care of kids “isn’t work”, a woman whose husband worked similarly long hours but seemed to be the reincarnation of June Cleaver who told the chick to suck it up and do four loads of laundry and vacuum the whole house every day just like she did.

So I think that part of this (and I think I saw this last year, so I’m not sure why it’s news — it seems like the kind of information my mother-in-law would forward me) is because there are people out there who don’t realize how much work is involved in taking care of young children. (And how little can get done when those children are awake.) Remember, this is coming from the United States, where most women barely get three months’ maternity leave (if they’re lucky — your employer doesn’t have to pay you during that time).

What I’ve found most interesting in all of this discussion is that it’s assumed that mothers are the only parents who stay at home and that fathers are the only parents who would work while a spouse was at home.

I was brought up in a household where my father was home for the most part (he’s a priest) and my mother worked outside the home (she’s a lawyer). And now we’re in the same situation — I work outside the home and Cionaodh stays home with our son.

So, in our case, I’d have to add the salary of a construction worker/drywaller/plumber/painter/cabinet maker to him (and construction project manager to myself). And we’d never be able to afford each other.

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